And, I'm having trouble motivating myself. I took a survey for the U.S. Department of Public Health yesterday on mental health. All I can say is ugh. I think the interviewer felt sorry for me. Most of the questions were about how I've been feeling in the past year. Most of the past year has not been good. And, I'm currently in this state of dullness. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to see anyone. I force myself to do things and to see people to some extent, but when I do, I just feel numb.
I think I'm really beginning to understand that we will not have children that share our DNA. I wish that didn't bother me as much as it does. I don't know why that feels so important. I guess it really is a biological drive. Sigh. I'm getting more and more excited about the prospects of embryo adoption, but I know that I need to more fully resolve my feelings surrounding our inability to have our children in order to proceed with that option. I just don't know how to get there.
Well, I guess for today, I should just keep going with the plan. That means getting off my butt and going for a jog.
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