I am starting this site 9dp3dt of our first IVF cycle. I tested at 2am, and it was a BFN. I have been up ever since. My DH refuses to believe any HPTs, and will wait for beta results on Mon. And, while I think I'm still harboring some hope in my heart that we have a late implanter here, I am still heartbroken. Realistically, our chances were low. We have Male Infertility and Diminished Ovarian Reserve. We only transferred one (it was a beautiful one, though, 10 cells on day 3 with little fragmentation). Why didn't it thrive in me?

So, in my mind, I am already planning for the next attempt. It's the only way for me to carry on - to know that there is still hope with another round of IVF. For insurance reasons, we have to do our next cycle before the end of the year. I don't know what we do after that - we'll have no coverage. While this cycle was scary because it was the first, the next one will be all the more stressful because it will be our last financially responsible effort.

I am so unbelievably tired.