I had a disturbing dream last night, in which a friend who has two boys was convinced there was something wrong (physically and mentally) with her youngest. she was trying to "get rid of him." I am not sure if I thought she was going to kill him or abandon him, but I wanted him. I also thought there was something horribly wrong with him, but all I could think was here was my chance to have a child. Sad.
Anyway. I had a lousy week and did not successfully communicate with any clinics. I am not impressed with Yale so far, though. I did call Tues., stayed on hold for a good 10 minutes, only to be given another phone number. That number had a message on it from Monday saying that they would be in clinic all day and would not be responding to phone calls. I didn't get a call back until yesterday, and the message left me yet another number to call. So, I am not at all impressed with their accessibility and feel ready to cross them off the list already. However, I feel like I should at least talk to them given how close they are. So, I'll call again on Monday.
I am leaning towards wanting a sole recipient cycle. I don't know that I can explain why clearly, but a big part of my reasoning is the fear of going through a shared cycle and finding out that it worked for the other recipient but not us. For whatever reason, I think that would absolutely send me over the edge.
Obviously, money is going to factor into this decision, but that's where I'm at right now. DH doesn't care either way, but says that if it's important to me then we should do it that way. I'm still feeling scared about all of this, but at the same time, I'm not looking forward to having to wait months and months to get going.
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